The Roommate from Hell

I'm in a Roommate from Hell story. What do I do?

It's still possible that, even after taking all the proper precautions, you end up living with a Roommate from Hell. You might find out immediately if your roommate fails to pay the rent and security deposit on time. And it's definitely a bad sign when you go out for the evening and come home to find reminants of a wild party; beer bottles and trash are everywhere and there are strange people knocked out in your bed. These random bouts of inconsiderate behavior will begin to become consistent to the point where they're on your nerves 24/7. And it doesn't have to be 'big things'. It could start with consistent small things, like leaving dirty dishes in the kitchen sink for days or playing loud music until 3am on weeknights, even after you‘ve asked them multiple times to keep the speakers off after midnight. They might drink all the milk and replace the empty carton in the fridge, or they might 'borrow' jewelry from your bedroom without asking you first (or worse: borrowing and never returning!). A college roommate of mine used to run the air conditioner in her bedroom all day long during the summer months, even when she wasn’t in the apartment, causing our electric bills to be exorbitantly high. And even after I commented on the fact that she was wasting energy and causing the electric bill to soar, she expected me to split the utility bill. No way!


One of the worst Roommate From Hell stories I’ve ever heard is about a hopelessly inconsiderate man, Roger, who gave his girlfriend a key to the apartment he shared with his roommate Bob. Roger never even mentioned it to Bob, who should have had a say in the people who had access to the apartment (this, by the way, is a real security issue). Roger's girlfriend used her key to move into the apartment, monopolizing the bathroom in the mornings when Bob would need to get ready for work, and then she would take over the television set in the evenings when Bob wanted to play video games. She was there very single day and eventually Bob confronted Roger and demanded that if the girl was going to be a third roommate that she needed to pay rent.

If your living situation is becoming more and more like a living nightmare, then you need to confront your roommate with the problems directly and immediately. Don’t be passive-aggressive and leave nasty Post-It notes on the fridge, as tactics such as this are completely ineffective. Don't be afraid to step up and tell your roommate that the loud music they consistently play at 3am really bothers you. If you don't say anything to them, they won't care, so it's your job to make them realize the severity of the situation. As tempting as it sounds, do not raise your voice when confronting your roommate. Remain calm and firmly explain to them the issue and what they need to do to help resolve it. If you use common sense and present your case in a logical manner, you may be surprised when your roommate agrees with you. It’s more likely that your roommate is not doing anything just to be mean-spirited; they just never learned that you have to be considerate and respectful of other people.

If your living situation really spins out of control and you feel that you can no longer live with your roommate, consider consulting a mediator. If you really love your home, and moving out is not an option, then a mediator is definitely worth the cost. But if the drama is really putting a strain on your overall quality of life, you should explore alternative living situations. You should talk to your landlord if you plan to breaking the lease. Or consider finding a replacement for yourself (this is called "subletting"). Maybe your Roommate from Hell knows someone that he or she would like to live with (good luck to them). Whatever the case, you can always find a solution to the roommate problem.

It’s highly unlikely that your roommate will ever be so terrible that you’ll have to move out of your home or apartment. The Roommate from Hell situation is quite rare, but the bottom line is that you should never have to share a bathroom or a television set with an annoying and inconsiderate roommate. Remember, your home is your sanctuary, and it's up to you to keep it that way.

Krista Jansen graduated from New York University with a B.F.A. in Cinema Studies and a B.A. in Psychology.  She pursues her passions for film and pop culture by writing movie reviews and short stories about her experiences living and working in New York City.